Gareth Ian Wilce : Death notice

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  • "Though lovers be lost love shall not."

    Death

    .

    GILLIAN ANN WILCE, Teacher

    27 June 1940 to 27 October 2011

    and

    GARETH IAN WILCE, Architect

    24 November 1965 to 24 January 2010

    .

    Four weeks ago today, at 9 am on Thursday 27 October, my dear wife Gillian suffered a Heart Arrest in a Marbella hospital. She remained in coma.

    I honoured my promise to Gill, informing her Doctors that she did not wish aggressive revival leaving her brain damaged. I sat with my beloved whispering the love of her son Mike, her grandchildren Mattis, Leah Kaja, and her many relatives and friends. At 10.45 pm that same day Gillian suffered a second Heart Arrest and died. She was 71.

    Gill looked so peaceful. All the pain and distress of her final years had gone from her face. We were married for fifty years. I loved her so much for fifty five years and always will. My Gilly was the kindest person I ever met.

    After the final breakdown of his Norwegian marriage in 2009, our beloved son Gareth was diagnosed with a Bi-Polar Disorder. His mother cared for Gary daily for two months at our home in Spain and in Bergen. Sadly, she could not prevent his suicide.

    Two years ago today, Gareth spent his final birthday with the children and mother he loved so much. Today, I shall leave a poppy on the beach where Gary liked to stroll with his Mum at her "technicolour home" and respect their wishes by leaving ashes of my lovely girl at the water's edge on her beach.

    .

    Report this message.
    By John Chales Wilce on 24th Nov 2011

  • "Though lovers be lost love shall not."

    Death

    .

    .

    My son Gareth Ian Wilce was diagnosed with a Bi-Polar Disorder in 2009. His Norwegian marriage failed and he was separated from the three children he loved most of all. Bravely, he volunteered for electro-shock treatment in a Bergen Asylum in the hope of cure and return to his family home.

    Gareth's mother Gillian Ann Wilce brought our son to our holiday home on the Costa Del Sol in September 2009 the hope of recovery.

    Gillian returned to Bergen to support her son in further hospital treatment in November 2009.

    Sadly, our son committed suicide on 24 January 2010, dying in the arms of his partner Leni.

    Gareth Ian Wilce, Architect, was 44

    Gillian never recovered her own health. My loving wife suffered a Nervous Breakdown in Norway and then two years of painful physical disability in Spain. Gillian never complained ahd fought so hard for recovery, but finally suffered fatal heart failures on 27 October 2011.

    Gillian Ann Wilce, Teacher, was 71.

    I have posted Gareth's poetry here in memory of my lovely boyo and am presently also posting it in trubute to his wonderful mother in:

    BARRY AND DISTRICT NEWS - Family Announcements Homepage

    and

    WREXHAM LEADER - Search Family Announcements - Obituary - Death

    Report this message.
    By John Chales Wilce on 20th Nov 2011

  • Though lovers be lost love shall not

    Death

    JASMINE - Gareth Wilce - 21.10.2009

    The scent of the evening

    As jasmine takes the air

    Invading your senses

    Making you glad that you're there.

    One part per million

    Drifting across the night

    One night in a million

    Relaxed and feeling alright.

    -for Gareth, died 24 January 2010

    and his mum Gillian, died 27 October 2011

    I love you, John Wilce

    Report this message.
    By John Chales Wilce on 7th Nov 2011

  • Gareth

    Death

    Always with us in our hearts.

    Report this message.
    By Rhian Sadler on 24th Jan 2011

  • A great friend

    Death


    Gareth was a great friend to me in Bryn Offa and Yale College. The song that reminds me of him is a song that he bought for a girl in Bryn offa called Love is the Answer. Such a tragedy for a talented poet.

    Report this message.
    By Graeme Monk on 2nd Dec 2010

  • 4 new poems

    Death

    .

    4 NEW POEMS -

    Gareth Wilce - 17 October 2009

    .

    1 bar, 1 person,

    2 timer, 2 tiden,

    3 tomme stoler, 3 tomme glass,

    4 nye dikter, 4 !!!

    .

    .................... .65................. ....

    .

    .

    4 NEW POEMS -

    Gareth Wilce - 17 October 2009

    .

    1 bar, 1 person,

    2 hours, 2'ish,

    3 empty chairs, 3 empty glasses,

    4 new poems, 4 !!!

    .

    .................... .........65......... ................

    Report this message.
    By John Charles Wilce on 14th Jun 2010

  • Wreckage

    Death

    .

    VRAKGODS -

    Gareth Wilce - 15 October 2009

    .

    Vrakgods vasket opp pa stranden.
    Vandrer opp og ned med stein i handed.
    Samlingen vokser, mens bolgene krasj.
    Flere mineraler for min stasj.

    .................... .......56........... ...............

    .

    WRECKAGE -

    Gareth Wilce - 15 October 2009

    .

    Wreckage washed up on the sand.
    Wandering up and down with pebbles in hand.
    My collection grows, as the waves crash.
    More minerals for my stash.

    .

    .................... .......56........... ...............

    Report this message.
    By John Charles Wilce on 12th Jun 2010

  • Sunday with you

    Death

    .

    SONDAG MED DEG -

    Gareth Wilce - 5 October 2009

    .

    Vekket fra dine drommer,

    Frokost var klar.

    En energi tilskudd

    Av sjokolade.

    En smilende ansikt,

    En klapp pa din kinn.

    Med pirrende instinkt,

    Du velkommet meg inn.

    Vi holdt oss varm,

    Nar det kaldt som faen.

    Ved jakt og venner.

    Middagen senere.

    Selskap med kos.

    Sondag med deg.

    .

    .................... ........50.......... ..............

    .

    SUNDAY WITH YOU -

    Gareth Wilce - 5 October 2009

    .

    Sunday with you.

    Woken from your dreams,

    Breakfast was ready.

    An energy supplement

    Of chocoalate.

    A smiling face.

    The touch of your cheek.

    With growing excitement

    You welcome me in.

    We so warmed each other

    When it was as cold as hell,

    Like a Hunt and its Followers.

    Diner later.

    Cosy.

    Sunday with you.

    .

    .................... ........50.......... ................

    Report this message.
    By John Charles Wilce on 29th May 2010

  • inside my head

    Death


    .

    OPP I HODET MITT -

    Gareth Wilce - 3 October 2009

    .

    Opp i hodet mitt.

    Kan ingenting tas som git.

    Usikkerhet, er som en morke sky pa min sjel.

    En uvant folelser av ting eg kjenner vel.

    Eg legger ut hjertet mitt, for all a se.

    Sann er eg, eg roper, det er min destiny.

    A suge til seg oppmerksomhet,

    Fordi det er det eg treng.

    Vakre ting viser seg apenbart,

    En etter en i sleng.

    Eg kjenner meg mer i livet,

    Enn noen ganger fra for.

    Eg foler meg sa forvirret,

    Da eg holder meg selv som narr.

    Opp i hodet mitt.

    Kan ingenting tas som gitt.

    .

    .................... ........49.......... ..............

    Report this message.
    By John Charles Wilce on 29th May 2010

  • Inside My Head (translated froml Norwegian) Opp I Hodet Mitt

    Death

    .

    INSIDE MY HEAD -

    Gareth Wilce - 3 October 2009

    .

    Inside my head

    Nothing can be taken for granted

    Insecurity is a dark cloud on my soul

    A strange feeling for things I know so well

    My heart goes out to everyone I see

    I'm like that, I'm shouting. It's my destiny

    To draw attention,

    Because that's what I need.

    Beautiful things appear,

    Following one by one in sequence,

    I feel more alive

    Than at any time before.

    I feel so confused

    When I behave like a fool.

    Inside my head

    Nothing can be taken for granted.

    .................... .......49........... ...............

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    By John Charles Wilce on 26th May 2010

  • En Plan

    Death

    .

    EN PLAN -

    Gareth Wilce - 19.09.2009

    .

    En framtidsplan for hva jeg kan gjore neste.

    A folge min drom, vil for meg blir det beste.

    A vegre fra dette, er det jeg har gjort,

    Med a vente for lenge, og toler mye lort.

    Men na, kjenner jeg min sti.

    Og hvor jeg vil bli.

    Men hvordan a seier det til deg.

    .

    .................... ........39.......... ...............

    Report this message.
    By John Charles Wilce on 25th May 2010

  • how to tell you

    Death
    .

    A PLAN -

    Gareth Wilce - 19.09.2009

    .

    A plan for the future for what I can do next.

    To follow my dream, would be best for me.

    What I've done is to withdraw from this

    By waiting too long and taking muchs hit.

    But now I know my path

    And how it must be.

    But how to tell you?

    .

    .................... .39................. ..

    Report this message.
    By John Charles Wilce on 25th May 2010

  • tension

    Death

    .

    Spenning -

    Gareth Wilce - 13 September 2009 -
    .
    Spenning raser gjennom hele min kropp
    En kropp som er ohm, da eg sitter og venter for at
    Spenning raser gjennom hele min kropp
    Eg har hadde lav resistens, men en hoy kapasitet, da
    Spenning raser gjennom hele min kropp
    Men eg haper det ikke hertz, da
    Spenning raser gjennom hele min kropp.

    .

    .................... ........34.......... ..............

    .

    Tension -

    Gareth Wilce - 13 September 2009 -

    .

    Tension rushes through my whole body.

    A body that is Ohm, then I sit and wait because

    Tension rushes through my whole body.

    I have had low resistence but high capacity, then

    Tension rushes through my whole body.

    But I hope it'd not Hertz, then

    Tension rushes through my whole body.

    .

    .................... ........34.......... ..............

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    By John Charles Wilce on 20th May 2010

  • transferred to asylum

    Death

    .

    OVERFORT -

    Gareth Wilce - 9 September 2009 -
    .
    Overfort fra leilighet
    Til legevakt.
    Transportert fra allmennpraksis
    Til akuttmottak der piller hjelp dempar skepsis.
    Sa over til sjukehuset der ting er skremmande.
    Fleire rutinar, meir hemmeleg,
    Men likeevel vemmeleg.
    .
    .................... ........28.......... ...............
    .

    TRANSFERRED -

    Gareth Wilce - 9 September 2009 -

    .

    Transferred from my apartment

    To a first aid clinic.

    Transferred from my G.P.

    To Psychiatric Emergency, where pills suppress scepticism.

    Then to an Asylum Ward where things are scary.

    More procedures, more secrets.

    But stll unpleasant.

    .

    .................... .......28........... .................

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    By John Charles Wilce on 19th May 2010

  • can't take this alone

    Death

    .

    CAN'T TAKE THIS ALONE -

    Gareth Wilce - 9 September 2009

    .

    Can't take this alone.

    Uansett hvor sterk du trur eg er

    Under overflaten,

    Eg er myk.

    .

    .................... ..29................ .....

    .

    CAN'T TAKE THIS ALONE -

    Gareth Wilce - 9 September 2009 -

    .

    Can't take this alone.

    No matter how strong you think I am,

    Under the surface,

    I am soft.

    .

    .................... ....29.............. ......

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    By John Charles Wilce on 18th May 2010

  • screaming inside

    Death

    .

    SCREAMING INSIDE -

    Gareth Wilce - 8 December 2009
    .
    Screaming inside,
    Searching for a place to hide.
    Don't lift your head.
    Don't get out of bed.
    Fold it inside out.
    Don't let out a shout.
    Store it away,
    To tackle another day.
    Stripped naked.
    Scared and scarred.
    Hide alone.
    .
    .................... ......87............ .............
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    By John Charles Wilce on 15th May 2010

  • one strives alone

    Death

    .

    DECEMBER DAISY -

    Gareth Wilce - 7 December 2009 -

    .

    The grass outside is green and brown.
    The signs of winter bite the ground
    White tips on the fronds once grown.
    Hibernating buds tightly wrapped, almost gone.
    Admist this, one strives alone.
    A December daisy, withered, nods its head.
    .
    .................... ......86............ ..........
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    By John Charles Wilce on 10th May 2010

  • users' instructions

    Death


    .

    USERS' INSTRUCTIONS -

    Gareth Wilce - 4 December 2009

    .

    If I came with users' instructions

    Maybe I could avoid these self destructions.

    I could be taken apart, carefully.

    Oiled and cleaned thoroughly.

    The elements of my disgrace;

    The worn-out parts replaced.

    Tested for compatibility

    Durability and reliability.

    Put back together, bit by bit.

    Maybe I'd function then.

    .

    .................... ......85............ ............

    Report this message.
    By John Charles Wilce on 9th May 2010

  • turn off the lights

    Death

    .

    TURN OFF -

    Gareth Wilce - 3.12.2009 -

    .

    Turn off the Christmas lights.

    Take down the tree.

    I'm in no mood, you see.

    To be as happy as I should be.

    So remove the decorations.

    Postpone all celebrations.

    And think how it is, to be me.

    .

    .................... .......82........... ..............

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    By John Charles Wilce on 7th May 2010

  • blackened souls

    Death

    .

    LOVE HEARTS AND HURT -

    Gareth Wilce - 3.12.2009 -

    .

    Demolishing a packet of love hearts,

    Without caring to read them underway.

    The emotion of their text departs,

    As I chomp, crush and swallow them whole.

    .

    Why can't they make them

    For people depressed.

    With such texts as: "Leave me alone" and "go away".

    So thar we could choose those that are best

    To suit our mood swings, and our blackened souls.

    .

    .................... .......81........... ..............

    Report this message.
    By John Charles Wilce on 6th May 2010

  • all replaced by fears

    Death

    .

    .

    A YEAR -

    Gareth Wilce - 3.12.2009 -

    .

    A year has passed

    Since the first diagnosis.

    It's gone so fast.

    And then left me in tears.

    .

    And now looking back,

    It hasn't left me completely.

    The self control I lack

    Has stolen my years.

    .

    Of all that I made;

    Home, family and friendships.

    Nine of it stayed.

    All replaced by fears.

    .

    .................... ..79................ .....

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    By John Charles Wilce on 4th May 2010

  • "That's me!"

    Death

    .

    NAV pling -

    Gareth Wilce - 2.12.2009 -

    .

    The numbers on the board,

    Written in red change; 69 pling.

    People talking in hushed voices.

    A little scared; strange; 70, 71 pling.

    Group four guards the door.

    The key to the wc; embarrassed
    : 72 pling,

    I don't quite know what I'm doing here.

    I'll just wait and see, dejected; 73 pling.

    That's me!

    .................... ........78.......... ................

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    By John Charles Wilce on 2nd May 2010

  • the bus station

    Death

    .

    .

    THE BUS STATION -

    Gareth Wilce - 1.12.2009

    .

    .

    The bus station with its inadequate signs.
    Dark and dirty, take your place in a line.
    The carbon monoxide, drawn into your lungs.
    The bus driver's smile when he finally comes.
    .
    .................... .....75............. .............
    Report this message.
    By John Charles Wilce on 1st May 2010

  • and it'll be dark soon

    Death

    .

    .

    WINTERTIME -

    Gareth Wilce - 29.11.2009 -

    .

    .

    Numbed fingers.
    Nails that don't seem to belong.
    Sharp breath.
    Nostrils tingle as the air is drawn down.
    Chapped lips.
    Glazed over with a minty taste.
    Ruddy cheeks.
    Warm and yet cold on your face.
    Layer upon layer
    No single piece of clothing fits.
    It's wintertime.
    And it'll be dark soon.
    .
    .................... ......74............ .............
    Report this message.
    By John Charles Wilce on 30th Apr 2010

  • my charcoal black darkened dream

    Death


    .

    .

    TUBES AND CABLES -

    Gareth Wilce - 11 November 2009 -

    .

    .

    A real mess of tubes and cables.
    In, under and all about me.
    That incessant peeping sound.

    .

    My eyes flutter open, if they're able.
    Unfocused and blurred, I'm still around.

    .

    White walls and white coats.
    Securely fastened to the machine.
    My blood pressure is measured, without end.

    .

    They found, it seems, an antidote.
    To my charcoal black darkened dream.
    Where am I? What day is it? My white coat friend.

    .

    .................... .......73........... ..............

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    By John Charles Wilce on 27th Apr 2010

  • 4 November 2009

    Death

    .

    Gareth's "last" poem before his suicide attempt in Spain concernedthe children he had lost in Norway:

    .

    SMALL FACES -
    Gareth Wilce - October 2009

    .

    Small faces that I knew so well.
    Familiar places.
    Ghosts to me now.

    .

    Gareth's next poem concerns his suicide attempt in Spainon 4 November 2009.

    .

    MIXED FEELINGS -
    Gareth Wilce - 11.11.2009

    .

    Mixed feelings, some sleepy some stable.
    Take them all if I'm able.
    Wash them down and wait.
    No more need to hesitate.
    It's hard to say goodbye.
    Click "send" and it's done.
    Bytes, through your night fly.
    Reaching the hearts of everyone
    You loved. Two are still awake.
    Urgent phone calls on the make.
    Dizzy, spinning, then down, innate.
    I can't talk right now. It's too late.
    .
    .................... .......72........... .............
    Report this message.
    By John Charles Wilce on 27th Mar 2010

  • ghosts to me know

    Death

    .

    .

    SMALL FACES -

    Gareth Wilce - October 2009

    .

    .

    Small faces that I knew so well.

    Familar places.

    Ghosts to me know.

    .

    .................... .71................. ...

    Report this message.
    By John Charles Wilce on 26th Mar 2010

  • no answer comes

    Death

    .

    AT WHAT COST -

    Gareth Wilce - 22.10.2009

    .

    I wonder what my kids are doing now.
    As I sit here thinking how,
    I ended up on this beach alone.
    Plastic deckchair for my throne.
    Everyone else, left at home.

    .

    The sun up high, glares down upon my crown,
    Highlighting my salty frown.
    Of puzzlement at what an awful cost,
    To sit here, paradise lost.
    Nothing gained, that misplaced lust.

    .

    So I sit here alone, and wonder why.
    I threw all to the wind, as it passed by.
    No answer comes.

    .

    .................... ......70............ ..............

    Report this message.
    By John Charles Wilce on 26th Mar 2010

  • burnt and flaked

    Death

    .

    Burnt and flaked -

    Gareth Wilce - 21.10.2009

    .

    Burnt and flaked.
    Sun oil baked.
    Cooked lobster coloured.
    We can't be bothered.
    This is what we're here for;
    To sit along this golden shore,
    To soak up all the sun's rays,
    To lie upon the beach for days.

    .

    .................... .......69........... .............

    Report this message.
    By John Charles Wilce on 25th Mar 2010

  • "I love you"

    Death

    .

    This poem was read at Gareth's funeral in Norway on 2 February 2010 at the request of his partnerand mother Gillian Wilce.

    .

    JASMINE -

    Gareth Wilce - 21.10.2009

    .

    The scent of the evening,

    As jasmine takes the air.

    Invading your senses,

    Making you glad that you're there.

    One part per million,

    Drifting, across the night.

    One night in a million,

    Relaxed, and feeling alright.

    .

    .................... . 68.................. ...

    .

    This love poem to Leni reflects the Jasmine plan welcoming visitors to Gillian's home in Spain, where it was written during Gareth's final visit. It began to bloom after his funeral in Norway and reminds us daily of the son we have lost.

    .................... .................... ................

    Report this message.
    By John Charles Wilce on 25th Mar 2010

  • "I love you"

    Death

    .

    On 23 January 2010 from Norway,Gareth Wilce sent his final e-mail to John Wilce,his father in Spain. It read simply:

    "I love you".

    Attached were the 93 poems presently being posted on this Obituary site in memory of our son.

    His father's last e-mail to Gare this posted below. Sadly, Gareth was probably already in coma and could not read this reply to his final beautiful gift of his poetry to his mother Gillian Wilce.

    Gareth's partne, Leni tried so hard to save her love and remains distraught in Norway.

    .

    9.25 a.m., January 24th 2010

    Dear Gareth,

    I've just finished reading your poems.Thank you so much.

    You are much loved by your children, your parents, your relatives and friends. We are all desparte to help and support.

    There is so much joy to come my son. Please believe. There is so much to look forward to. I know, I've been there. Re-boot slowly, patiently and gently. Ignore all the rubbish. It will depart (slowly).

    Cherish Leni in all ways open to you. She really is a precious person; the first of many new friends you will make as time heals (slowly).

    In the blink of an eye, your children will consider themselves adults. They will demand all sorts of things, including their Father.

    Wait patiently for them. They will come.

    Love, Dad

    .

    Report this message.
    By John Charles Wilce on 24th Mar 2010

  • as quiet as the grave

    Death

    .

    .

    THE WAITING ROOM -

    Gareth Wilce - 21.10.2009

    .

    The waiting room,
    As quiet as the grave.
    Stuffed full of magazines,
    Really old ones that somebody saved.
    Not a speck of dust.
    Sideways glances, hushed.
    The chairs uncomfortable,
    The plants un-watered,
    The pictures, hmm, pleasant,
    The pain in my body, unfettered,
    Waiting, in the waiting room.
    The doctor will see you soon.

    .

    .................... .......67........... ...............

    Report this message.
    By John Charles Wilce on 23rd Mar 2010

  • j.wilce.g@live.co.uk

    Death

    .

    .

    A TOY CAR -

    Gareth Wilce - 20.10.2009

    .

    A toy car buffeted around in the surf.
    Being buried and uncovered by wet sand.
    Someone's going to miss it enough.
    A little boy at the end of the day.
    Will look down into his hand
    And let out a cry.
    If it weren't for this stranger going by.

    .................... .....66............. ............

    The stranger going by on our beach in Spain last Autumn was Gareth. The little boy reminded him of his son. Gareth's mum asked for this poem to be read at her son's funeral in Norway.
    Sadly, it was not.

    Report this message.
    By John Charles Wilce on 22nd Mar 2010

  • I came in second

    Death

    .

    .

    TORN APART -

    Gareth Wilce - 17.10.2009

    .

    Sectioned, sanctioned
    And torn apart.
    A troubled mind,
    And a broken heart.
    Bewildered, beguiled,
    Then left alone.
    Ripped from home.
    Devoid, annoyed.
    My race is run.
    I came in second,
    No medal was won.
    Sanctuary, melancholy,
    Is all that's left.
    From my dreams
    I'm now bereft.
    .
    .................... ......64............ ...........
    Report this message.
    By John Charles Wilce on 21st Mar 2010

  • lost in the wind

    Death
    .
    .

    LOST -

    Gareth Wilce - 17.10.2009

    .

    A ship, far out to sea.
    .
    That's me.
    .
    A soul, that wanders alone.
    .
    I'm home.
    .
    A dream, that cannot be met.
    .
    I'm that.
    .
    A sigh, that's lost in the wind.
    .
    A joke, that nobody gets.
    .
    .................... .....63............. .............
    Report this message.
    By John Charles Wilce on 20th Mar 2010

  • it's inside that matters the most

    Death

    .

    .

    THE GIRLFRIEND TO BE -

    Gareth Wilce - 17.10.2009

    .

    Blonde or brunette.
    Redhead or jet.
    Eyes of emerald, blue,
    Hazel that too.
    Fair skinned or tanned.
    City or land.
    Short or tall.
    Round or small.
    The girlfriend to be.
    The one for me.
    It's inside that matters the most.

    .

    .................... .......62........... ..............

    Report this message.
    By John Charles Wilce on 19th Mar 2010

  • seizing the moment

    Death

    .

    .

    A WARM AFTERGLOW -

    Gareth Wilce - 17.10.2009

    .

    A warm afterglow.
    Summer has drawn to an end.
    Fond memories of you, my friend,
    And of the things that we know.
    The people we met,
    Of those evenings, now rare.
    Together, with the breeze in your hair.
    Laughing out loud; getting wet.
    I'd like to recall;
    Looking back on the season,
    Joy, I remember. The reason.
    Seizing the moment, and all.
    .
    .................... ......61............ ............
    Report this message.
    By John Charles Wilce on 18th Mar 2010

  • that moment has gone

    Death

    .

    .

    SKETCHING -

    Gareth Wilce - 15.10.2009

    .

    The smell of acrylic on paper.
    The thwack and scrape as the paint
    goes on.
    Half finished sketches, finish them later.
    Never to get back to them, that moment has gone.
    .
    .................... .......60........... ..............
    Report this message.
    By John Charles Wilce on 17th Mar 2010

  • evening's drawing in

    Death

    .

    .

    HOLIDAY - Gareth Wilce -

    15.10.2009

    .

    .

    An itching salty forehead,
    Sun bleached hair, and reddened skin.
    Normally a bad hair day,
    Ruffled and unkempt, the result of a swim.
    A pint at the bar.
    Well before happy hour, quiet and far away from the din.
    Evening's drawing in.
    The day on the beach is wearing thin.
    A perfectly lazy holiday day.
    .
    .................... ......59............ .............
    Report this message.
    By John Charles Wilce on 17th Mar 2010

  • beach parade

    Death

    .
    .

    IT'LL RAIN - Gareth Wilce -

    15.10.2009

    .

    They say it'll rain tomorrow,
    To change their happiness to sorrow.
    Of those who dearly paid,
    To be part of this beach parade.

    .

    .................... .... 57.................. .......

    Report this message.
    By John Charles Wilce on 16th Mar 2010

  • Hiku

    Death

    .

    .

    HIKU - Gareth Wilce -

    15.10.2009

    .

    Pebbles on the beach.
    The thunderous roar of waves.
    Rockhound paradise.
    .
    .................... .....55............. .............
    Report this message.
    By John Charles Wilce on 16th Mar 2010

  • Hiku

    Death

    .

    .

    HIKU - Gareth Wilce

    14.10.2009

    .

    The electric buzz.
    Shatters the afternoon peace.
    What noisy neighbours.
    .
    Walking home at five.
    Trucks delivering gods scurry,
    Like cockroaches by.
    .
    .................... ......55............ .............
    Report this message.
    By John Charles Wilce on 16th Mar 2010

  • I wander the shore

    Death

    .

    .

    GRAINS OF MEMORY -

    Gareth Wilce - 14.10.2009 -

    .

    Stones of different colours
    Strewn at my feet.
    (All events in my past).
    .
    I wander the shores
    And stare out to sea
    (From first to last).
    .
    Watching for containerships
    As they scurry on by.
    (take them away).
    .
    Feeling the sea breeze in my face.
    And sensing the seagulls soar high.
    (I wish some would stay).
    .
    Dry sand clings to my wet legs,
    Shine a while, then drop to the ground.
    (Where no one else should see).
    .
    So I stare out to sea.
    Waiting for these grains of memory.
    (To fall away from me).
    .
    .................... .......54........... ..............
    Report this message.
    By John Charles Wilce on 15th Mar 2010

  • she is near

    Death

    .

    .

    WAVES - Gareth Wilce -

    11.10.2009

    .

    Waves roar in, drowning out the music in my ears,
    And the ghosts in my mind.
    A cold beer, washing away all my boyish fears,
    Of the girl I wait to find.
    She is near.
    I smile to myself, and gaze eastwards.
    I wont be too forward.
    Prey to God.

    .

    .................... ........53.......... ...............

    Report this message.
    By John Charles Wilce on 14th Mar 2010

  • not quiet the same

    Death

    .

    .

    JUMPING THOUGHTS -

    Gareth Wilce - 10.9.2009

    .

    Jumping thoughts and ideas,
    Flashes of genius through my mind.
    Some get formulated and clear.
    Most die buried in sand.
    .
    Skipping focus on all sorts of things,
    Lacking direction on that which matters.
    Dreams in colour, take to the wing.
    Those that don't lie in shatters.
    .
    How to sift the chaff from the grain,
    How not to fall so far down again,
    How to enjoy being not quite the same.
    .
    .................... ......51............ .............
    Report this message.
    By John Charles Wilce on 14th Mar 2010

  • the journey

    Death

    .

    .

    JOURNEY -

    Gareth Wilce - 1.10.2009

    .

    The journey, not the goal

    Is the nectar for the soul.

    The hunt, not the kill.

    To prefer the tingle, and the thrill.

    The sigh, not the breath.

    The movement of a whisper on your neck.

    .

    .................... ..... 48.................. .......

    Report this message.
    By John Charles Wilce on 14th Mar 2010

  • HIKU - 7

    Death

    .

    .

    HIKU - Gareth Wilce -
    10.10.2009
    .
    My first time under.
    Anestisologist,
    Be gentle with me.
    .
    .................... .................... ...............
    .
    HIKU - Gareth Wilce -
    10.10.2009 -
    .
    Borgenvilla.
    The crisp white of the houses.
    In technicolour.
    .
    .................... .................... ................
    .
    HIKU - Gareth Wilce -

    10.10.2009

    .


    Palazzoof me.
    Intricate and stern facade.
    Inside, sofy as soap.
    .
    .................... .................... ...............
    .
    HIKU - Gareth Wilce -
    10.10.2009 -
    .
    A 5 7 5
    Poetry in the making.
    Read and understood.
    .
    .................... .................... ................
    .
    HIKU - Gareth Wilce -

    10.10.2009

    .
    Dresden lies shattered.
    Plants turned upside down, again.
    Where's that cat.
    .
    .................... .................... ................
    .
    HIKU - Gareth Wilce -
    11.10.2009
    .
    We lay on the beach.
    The sand getting everywhere.
    It scares the horses.
    .
    .................... .................... ................
    .
    HIKU - Gareth Wilce -

    11.10.2009

    .
    Whites worn on the beach.
    Waves roll in, sands are golden.
    Waiting for a girl.
    .
    .................... .......52........... .............
    Report this message.
    By John Charles Wilce on 13th Mar 2010

  • thank you for being

    Death

    .

    .

    THANK YOU - (9.9.2009)

    Gareth Wilce og H.Hegle

    .

    Thank you:)
    For the link
    For the wink
    For saying I'm hot
    When I certainly feel not
    For turning me on
    When my heart was gone.
    Thank you for being - Deviant.
    .
    Thank YOU
    For making me smile
    For talking a while
    For walking my way
    For making my day
    For being a stud
    when I feel like mud
    Thank you for being -Erratic.
    .
    Thank you:)
    For giving all you can
    Despite a parental ban
    For showing me you're knowing
    And getting my creative juices flowing
    For giving me no grief
    And for the offer of shaving
    Thank you for being - Clean cut.
    .
    Thank you
    For letting me fly
    For not asking why
    For letting me show you I'm more than a child.
    For being so funny, so hot and so wild
    For being a man
    Who showed me you can
    And thank you for being - Exciting
    .
    Thank you:)
    For simply being there
    For the kind words you share
    For pushing me to scribble
    And letting me dribble
    For showing me the light
    And not putting up a fight
    Thank you for being -Approachable
    .
    Thank you
    For challenging me
    For showing I'm free
    That you didn't run
    For being so hot
    For laughing a lot
    Thank you for being - A Booster.
    .
    .................... .......47........... ..............
    Report this message.
    By John Charles Wilce on 11th Mar 2010

  • to keep me sane

    Death

    .

    .

    COLD SHOWER -

    Gareth Wilce - 25.9.2009

    .

    Will it take a cold shower,
    To wash away the passion I have inside.
    The drops of water designed to give me power,
    To steer and control my future pride.
    .
    Do I need a cold shower, I wonder
    To avoid walking the line between too happy, too sad.
    Will it calm me down enough,
    To tackle another day that's rough.
    To be preparedfor a new addiction anadrenaline rush.
    .
    To cloak sensuality behind a wall of water.
    And watch as it runs silently off me
    Anddown the drain.
    Will it take a cold shower,
    To keep me sane?
    .
    .................... ......46............ .............
    T

    .

    .

    Report this message.
    By John Charles Wilce on 10th Mar 2010

  • follow my heart

    Death

    .

    .

    Dripping -

    Gareth Wilce - 24.09.2009

    .

    .

    Follow my heart. Stay playful, sincere.
    Lead by my dreams and being you near.
    Follow the Interflora van to your door.
    A well trodden path, I've been there before.
    Talking to you and I'm thinking again.
    Thinking of you and I'm playful my friend.
    Playful again, and I'm dripping once more.
    Smiling, warm and slightly damp, oh yes, encore.

    .

    .................... ........45.......... ..............

    Report this message.
    By John Charles Wilce on 9th Mar 2010

  • my time is limited

    Death

    .

    .

    Stay Hungry, Stay Foolish -

    John Wilce - 22.09.2009

    .

    .

    My time is limited, not someone else's.
    My life, not wasted living someone else's.
    Not trapped by dogma of someone else's.
    I have the courage to follow my heart,
    To follow my intuition,
    To truly become one.
    Everything else is secondary and someone else's.
    I'll stay hungry.
    I'll stay foolish.
    .
    .................... .......44........... ................
    Report this message.
    By John Charles Wilce on 9th Mar 2010

  • the path ahead

    Death

    .

    .

    Thoughts On Being Misused By Others -

    Gareth Wilce - 19.9.2009

    .

    .

    So many impulses coming towards me.
    Some deliberately aimed at my head.
    Others take the scenic route around me,
    Before they stab me in the heart.
    My emotions vary with every new onslaught.
    From good, to bad, to indifferent instead.
    Some provoke a sense of deep thought.
    Others don't pretend to start.
    .
    Tainted by deceit, I may stop listening.
    To words so indiscreet, with no way onwards.
    The burning glow of arguments in the making.
    This is not a mistake that I will make.
    Each new day brings more clarity of mind.
    An ability to sense a new way forwards.
    The disappointment in others left far behind,
    The path ahead is the one I take.
    .
    .................... .....40............. ..............
    Report this message.
    By John Charles Wilce on 8th Mar 2010

  • now I'm living

    Death

    .

    .

    Georgeous -

    Gareth Wilce - 19.9.2009

    .

    "Georgeous" I said, as my eyes strained,
    To regain recognition of what is my room.
    I'd fallen asleep on my bed a warm September afternoon.
    I dreamt of a beautiful woman on the sand.
    I lay beside her, reached out and touched her hand.
    .
    So peaceful this dream, so alive, so giving.
    Lifting my heart, noe I'm living.
    "Georgeous" I said as my hands strained,
    To come out from under the duvet,
    Where they'd been hiding all this time.

    .

    .................... .......38........... ...............

    .

    Report this message.
    By John Charles Wilce on 8th Mar 2010

  • that feeling lasts forever

    Death

    .

    .

    The Biggest Feeling Of All -

    Gareth Wilce - 19.9.2009

    .

    The biggest feeling of all,
    Is the one that fills you to the brim,
    With a joy supreme.
    The biggest feeling of all.
    Is that which makes you shake.
    A smiling retake.
    The biggest feeling of all.
    You get when you least expect it.
    The moment moves on, but that feeling lasts forever.
    .
    .................... ......37............ .............
    Report this message.
    By John Charles Wilce on 7th Mar 2010

  • and there is hope

    Death

    .

    .

    HOPE -

    Gareth Wilce - 19.9.2009

    .

    A deep sigh, and there is hope.
    Quiet and subtle,
    It sneaks into your metal.
    Fortifies you to face another day.
    With open arms you welcome it all the way.
    Into your heart, where it belongs.

    .

    .................... .....36............. ..........

    Report this message.
    By John Charles Wilce on 7th Mar 2010

  • all the colours of the day

    Death

    .

    .

    SPRING IN SEPTEMBER -

    Gareth Wilce - 15.9.2009

    .

    .

    There's a spring in my step to day.
    It's September and the leaves are changing tone.
    Winter's drawing in and the birds are flying home.
    Still, spring is here for me, and hopefully will stay.
    .
    The dark clouds of September don't close in on me.
    Thoughts of the summer gone, are just that, a memory.
    Twinkling likes stars in my mind.
    Happy days, sad days, days of every kind.
    Not something to linger on.
    Those days are gone.

    .

    There's a smile on my face today.
    Autumn's here and August's holidays are finished.
    Suntans fade away, the grey monotony of work undiminished.
    Yet I see all the colours of the day.

    .

    A patient of a time of my own making.
    Patience not to want things that are foresaken.
    Bright hues of many nuances.
    Something to ponder on,
    Now that those sad days are gone.

    .

    .................... ........35.......... ...............

    .

    Report this message.
    By John Charles Wilce on 6th Mar 2010

  • Allergic

    Death
    .
    .

    ALLERGIC -

    Gareth Wilce - 13.9.2009

    .

    .

    Is there anything you are allergic to?"
    .
    Said the anestisiologist, about to put me under.
    .
    I lay there for a while thinking, then I wondered.
    .
    If it's important to save my life,
    .
    I do believe I'm allergic to my ex-wife."
    .
    .
    .................... ........33.......... ..............
    Report this message.
    By John Charles Wilce on 6th Mar 2010

  • Wanting Hugs and Kisses

    Death

    .

    .

    WILD SIDE -

    Gareth Wilce - 12.9.2009

    .

    Walking on the wide side
    is not a game for heroes.
    Treading softly, softly
    Balancing on your toes.
    Not sure of reality
    Nor satisfied with banality
    Pushing thoughts away from you
    While wanting hugs and kisses.
    .
    Being a little on the wild side
    Not trusting your pretences.
    Wandering if the tablets
    Can help regain your senses.
    Waiting for arest bite,
    Long into that sweet goodnight.
    Looking forward to things,
    Enjoyable.
    Discovering them to be destroyable.
    .
    Falling into the wild side
    Not landing on your feet.
    Saying all the wrong things
    Being indiscrete.
    Not sure of other's resistence
    Nor of your existence.
    Passing time 'til you are well.
    Doing time your life's a hell.
    .
    .................... ......31............ .............
    Report this message.
    By John Charles Wilce on 5th Mar 2010

  • take me away

    Death

    .

    .

    SITTING WAITING -

    Gareth Ian Wilce - 9.9.2009

    .

    .

    Sitting here bored out of my mind.
    Waiting for a phone call from someone who cares.
    Dwell on my past is all I can find.
    Nothing to do than stare at the stairs.
    Expect the unexpected; that a familiar face will open the doors.
    Stand and stay for a while upon these gret floors.
    Stand beside me, hug me, cry with me,
    And then take me away.
    .
    .

    .................... .......30........... ...............

    Report this message.
    By John Charles Wilce on 4th Mar 2010

  • whats left

    Death

    .

    .

    REGRETS -

    Gareth Ian Wilce - 8.9.2009

    .

    .

    Regret for the things said and done
    Disappointment at those never won
    Pushing others away and searching for the horizons golden light.
    Which evaporates, rapidly into the dark black night.
    What's left.
    Bereft.
    All once gained lies in ruins, back there.
    Despair.
    .
    .................... ........27.......... ................
    Report this message.
    By John Charles Wilce on 4th Mar 2010

  • But deep inside.

    Death

    .

    .

    THE PILLS -

    Gareth Wilce - 8.9.2009

    .

    The pills take away your dreams.
    They give a distance from your reality.
    The reality of a life destroyed, or rather as it seems
    Dulled senses and an acceptance of banality.
    Your feelings left behind, emotions stabilised.
    But deep inside, the thoughts of a life in ruins.
    Reign supreme but not devoid of disguise.
    Not normal.

    .

    .................... ........26.......... ..............

    Report this message.
    By John Charles Wilce on 3rd Mar 2010

  • all I have left

    Death

    .

    .

    THE RUCKSACK -

    Gareth Wilce - 8.9.2009

    .

    The weeks before this week my rucksack was filled with stones.
    Not unusual for one who wanders around breaking his bones.
    Precious stones for the collection.
    Fine looking rocks for decoration.
    Or just something I fancied.
    And picked up, and displayed.
    .
    This time the stones were to be jagged and rough.
    Filling the rucksack to the brim would be enough.
    Lumps of concrete from demolition
    Smaller stones, ballast discardation
    Anything I fancied to increase the weight.
    Dive into the fjord, then its too late.
    .
    Today my rucksack is filled with newly washed clothes.
    Where these will take me I don't know.
    Knickers and socks, trousers attire.
    Outfits that others here can only admire.
    The rucksack is full of the way that I am.
    The rucksack that saved me is all I have left.
    .
    .................... ... 25.................. .......
    Report this message.
    By John Charles Wilce on 3rd Mar 2010

  • a hurricane of emotion

    Death

    .

    CRIES FOR HELP -

    Gareth Wilce - 8.9.2009

    .

    Messages sent, the replies quite rare.
    A cry for help in a hurricane of emotion.
    Not to send them, no reply would be there.
    A cry for help can be lost in confusion.
    .
    .................... .................... ................
    Report this message.
    By John Charles Wilce on 2nd Mar 2010

  • psykiatrisk akutt mottak 2

    Death

    .

    PAM 2 - Gareth Wilce - 8.9.09

    .

    Care is what they do, its their job.
    Care is what they give, even when you sob.
    Into care says the doctor and hands you over.
    To the staff on the ward who handle you with care.
    You're in good hands now, day and night long.
    They listen and care for you, and nothing goes wrong.
    .
    .................... .................... .................
    Report this message.
    By John Charles Wilce on 2nd Mar 2010

  • ADDRESS FOR GARETH'S FUNERAL

    Death

    .

    ADDRESS TO GARETH'S FRIENDS AT HIS FUNERAL IN NORWAY ON 2 FEBRUARY 2010

    from his parents: Gillian & John Wilce

    .

    .................... .................... ................

    .

    DEAR FRIENDS,

    Thank you for coming to respect your memories of our lovely son Gareth.

    His Mother and Father deeply regret our absence due to serious illness.As recently as December, his Mum was living in Bergen with her son,trying to give Gareth the Family Support he so badly needed.

    Gareth was killed by his dreadful illness on 24 January 2010. He did not go gentle to that Undiscovered Land. He fought long and hard for three years, but as he himself wrote:
    "I finished second."

    We are very grateful to Gareth's brother Mike and tohis Cousin Laura for representing our Family at our son's funeral.

    WHAT CAN I SAY ABOUT GARETH?

    Gareth ran the 100 metres fast. We were invited to School Sports Day as the guests of his Headteacher. Half way down the track, Gareth saw us, and stopped to wave. I was heard to shout "shift yer backside Gareth!" He still won that race!

    But Mike can better tell you about Gareth's childhood.

    Gareth met Nina at Newcatle University, where he graduated in Architecture with Chris, who can better tell you about student days.Thank you so much Sir, for travelling from Britain to attend Gareth's funeral.

    We still remember the wonderful Wedding provided by Kore & Kirsten Eide and acknowledge the many kindnesses of Gareth's inlaws.

    .................... .................... ................

    Report this message.
    By John Charles Wilce on 2nd Mar 2010

  • Address at Gareth's Funeral

    Death

    .

    WHAT ELSE CAN I TELL YOU ABOUT GARETH?

    .

    He was proud of his Profession.

    .

    I remember the teenage Gareth taking us to see a bus shelter in a mining village outside Wrexham. As an apprentice, Gareth had designed it. Its still the best bus shelter in the world!

    .

    In Bergen or Knarvic, look around you. Gareth's work is there. Recently, Gareth designed and built a fine family home for his children. Please visit. This is his Memorial. Please enter, you will see Gareth everywhere inside his children's home.

    But Mr. Tor Hegle can tell about Wilce the Architect for better than I.

    I wish publically to acknowledge today the superb support given by this Gentleman to our seriously ill son throughout his last year. Thank you Sir, so much and also for your kindness in inviting Gareth's Mother for Christmas when she was left alone in a foreign city.

    .

    Gareth had other fine friends.

    People like Sandra and Colin were superb friend in good times and in bad and still are. Thank you especially for your New Year's invitation to our son and support for his brother.

    Leni was with Gareth throughout his last months. Her parents ensued that Gareth was not left lonely in that dark city for his last Christmas. Its so good to know that Gareth did not die alone. Thank you so much Dear Lady.

    .

    .................... .................... ................

    Report this message.
    By John Charles Wilce on 2nd Mar 2010

  • Address to Gareth's Funeral

    Death

    .

    WHAT WAS MOST IMPORTANT TO OUR SON?

    .

    He had three wonderful children from Nina:

    Mattis, Leah and Kaja Wilce.

    I remember Gareth hunting fossils with his children on the beaches of Barry Island; and father & kids screaming together in joy at the Funfair, where we both had worked as teenagers.

    Dear Grandchildren,

    You know far better than I how wonderful was your Papa. Please know that the last thing our son wrote to us was:

    "Don't lose touch with the kids, your grandchildren love you very much."

    The evening before he died, Gareth told me how much he loved you and how much he missed his beloved children.

    Remember, we are all made of stardust and we all return to stardust. So long as you remember your beloved Papa, he will still be alive within you:

    You will see him...

    You will hear him...

    You will love him...

    One day, please tell your own grandchildren about GARETH.
    Our son, your papa, is worth remembering

    .

    .................... .................... ..................

    Report this message.
    By John Charles Wilce on 2nd Mar 2010

  • Two Poems read at Gareth's Funeral

    Death

    .

    Mrs. Gillian Wilce asked that two of her son's poems written at her home in Andalucia last Autumn, should be read at his funeral in Norway on 2 February 2010

    .

    .................... .................... ................

    .

    A TOY CAR - 20 October 2009

    .

    A toy car buffeted around in the surf.

    Being buried and uncovered by wet sand.

    Someone's going to miss it enough

    A little boy at the end of the day.

    Will look down into his hand.

    And let out a cry.

    It it weren't for this stranger going by.

    .

    .................... .................... .................

    .

    Gareth was that Stranger Going By.

    .

    .................... .................... .................

    Report this message.
    By John Charles Wilce on 2nd Mar 2010

  • Two Poems read at Gareth's Funeral

    Death
    .

    JASMINE - 21.10.2009

    .

    The scent of the evening,
    As jasmine takes the air,
    Invading your senses,
    Making you gladthat you're there. One part per million,
    Drifting across the night.
    One night in a million,
    Relaxed and feeling alright.

    .

    .................... .................... .................

    .

    Please go to the Rose Garden designed by Gareth at the Arboretum in Bergen. He inherited his love of gardening from his mother, whose Jasmine welcomes visitors to her home in Andalucia. Everytime we breathe a hint of Jasmine, Gareth will be there:

    One in a million, relaxedand feeling alright.

    .

    .................... .................... .................

    Report this message.
    By John Charles Wilce on 2nd Mar 2010

  • certainly not home

    Death

    .

    .

    ALONE - Gareth Wilce - 8.9.2009

    .

    .

    What to say when you feel alone?

    .

    Who to talk to when you're on the phone?

    .

    How hard the pain that cuts to the bone?

    .

    Where next to go? Cetainly not home.

    .

    .

    .................... .......20........... .................

    Report this message.
    By John Charles Wilce on 1st Mar 2010

  • better not disgrace us

    Death

    .

    .

    NEW NAMES -

    Gareth Wilce - 8.9.2009

    .

    .

    New names, unfamiliar places.

    .

    Locked windows and doors in our faces.

    .

    We will be better, and better not disgrace us.

    .

    .................... ........19.......... ...............

    Report this message.
    By John Charles Wilce on 1st Mar 2010

  • in a fog of time

    Death

    .

    .

    UPS AND DOWNS -

    Gareth Wilce - 8 September 2009

    .

    .

    Humour swings and quiet moments needed alone.

    Years have disappeared in a fog of time.

    Not mine, they say, it's all your own making.

    As they criticise my behaviour and call it default.

    The ups are accepted as good and creative.

    The downs are rejected outright as destructive.

    The balance, not attained is ignored.

    .

    .

    .................... ........18.......... ................

    Report this message.
    By John Charles Wilce on 1st Mar 2010

  • build a funeral pyre

    Death

    .

    .

    WHO CARES -

    Gareth Wilce - 8. 9. 2009

    .

    .

    Who cares a jot when the joy runs out.
    And who gives a fig when they've had enough,
    Of your whining and moaning, and your sour face.
    .
    .
    Who comes to visit when you're in a difficult place.
    Despite calls to people you loved,
    Shovelled away, 'cos your name is like mud.
    .
    .
    Who lends a hand to pull you out of the mire.
    Not those who would rather build a funeral pyre,
    And set fire to your image and forget about you.
    .
    .
    Who mucked up their lives, which you cannot undo.
    Abstract loneliness is all you have now.
    Is there a way out, please show me how.
    .
    .
    .................... .........17......... ................
    Report this message.
    By John Charles Wilce on 1st Mar 2010

  • withIn asylum - 7 September 2009

    Death

    .

    .

    4 walls and a bed -

    Gareth Wilce - 7 September 2009
    .
    .
    4 walls and a bed.
    The alternative to being dead.
    One is for grief, my mucked up life and sorrow.
    The second for panic when there's no tomorrow.
    Number three, bipolar they call it, good times and bad.
    4 all alone, silent drinking and sad.
    .
    .
    I volunteered myself to these four walls.
    The help I'm now getting is in a good cause.
    Things will take time, to get back on my feet.
    The only difficulty is to do it discreet.
    .
    .
    .................... ......15............ ..............
    Report this message.
    By John Charles Wilce on 28th Feb 2010

  • towards asylum - September 2009

    Death

    .

    .

    Plus five

    Gareth Wilce - 4 September 2009
    .
    .
    I've never felt like this before.
    No pain like this I now endure.
    These devils in my mind reside.
    Though gently will I sleep beside.
    Plus five is how I feel.
    Plus five at your feet kneel.
    I wish for your love
    And shake my head,
    Crushing my pillow,
    And staring at the sky.
    .
    .................... .......14........... ...................
    Report this message.
    By John Charles Wilce on 28th Feb 2010

  • And It hurts

    Death

    .

    .

    THE PATH OF MY PAIN

    Gareth Wilce - 24.08.2009.

    .

    .

    Salt stains mark the path of my pain

    .

    .

    They trace a stream down over my cheeks.

    It stings like never before, like the seas have dried,

    And their salt rubbed into my soul.

    And it hurts.

    .

    .

    The crystal stains mirror how I feel.

    If things had been different, if I hadn't told you how I am.

    What would have been left of me?

    And yet the marks are there.

    .

    .

    The marks on my face are not only for you.

    It stings like all have experienced eternity before. They're for all to see,

    And for me to be. And it hurts.

    With drips of runny salt pouring from my nose.

    .

    .

    Salt stains mark the path of my pain...

    .

    .

    .................... ......11............ ..............

    Report this message.
    By John Charles Wilce on 27th Feb 2010

  • I am me

    Death

    .

    .

    AM I CRAZY

    Gareth Wilce - 20.08.2009

    .

    .

    Am I crazy to follow after you?
    Am I insane to want the things you do?

    Am I mad to wish I was beside you, all of the time?

    Am I loony to think that I belong?

    Am I potty to dare to think at all?

    Am I stupid to ponder?

    Am I me?

    I am me, and this I choose.

    .

    .

    .................... .....10............. .............

    Report this message.
    By John Charles Wilce on 26th Feb 2010

  • one deep breath

    Death
    .
    .

    PILLOWS

    Gareth Wilce - 21 July 2009

    .

    .

    Stretched out
    And hugging pillows.
    Heavy sighs
    Yet nothing withers
    One deep breath,
    My body shivers.
    .
    .
    .................... .......9............ ..............
    Report this message.
    By John Charles Wilce on 26th Feb 2010

  • AMICABLE AGREEMENT (contd) Gareth Wilce

    Death

    .

    Blind-drunk, I search for an amicable agreement.

    My head nods, I sigh at memories passed.

    Searching not for the one step forward.

    Every step is destined to last forever.

    .

    Searching for an amicable agreement.

    No doubting it's not far away.

    Still searching for an amicable agreement.

    Vain hopes open for another day.

    .

    Searching for an amicable agreement.

    Sifting out bitterness and hate.

    Still hoping for an amicable agreement.

    Before it's all too late.

    .

    I twist and turn looking for an amicable agreement.

    Your lights dim I can't find my way.

    Still desparate after an amicable agreement.

    Though you no longer show the way.

    .

    Pressing towards an amicable agreement.

    There's nothing left to say.

    Waiting for the signing of an amicable agreement.

    The one that will seal the day.

    end................. .....8.............. ........end

    .

    Report this message.
    By John Charles Wilce on 25th Feb 2010

  • AMICABLE AGREEMENT - Gareth Wilce - 15.07.09

    Death

    .

    Searching for an amicable agreement.

    Not finding it at watershed one or two.

    Still searching for an amicable agreement

    Not sure if it can be with you.

    .

    Searching for an amicable agreement

    Where both parts can act as one.

    Still searching for an amicable agreement

    Quite sure now that you're not the one.

    .

    Searching helplessly for an amicable agreement

    Amongst hate, disgust, prejudice and despair.

    Still searching for an amicable agreement.

    The stakes are risen higher and higher.

    .

    Searching blindly for an amicable agreement.

    So that life can continue as before.

    Still searching for an amicable agreement

    Every suggestion you slam the door.

    .

    Searching in the dark for an amicable agreement.

    Not knowing what is forward or back.

    Still searching for a lasting agreement.

    Every nerve and sinew ready to snap.

    .

    contd.......contd... ....contd....... contd

    Report this message.
    By John Charles Wilce on 25th Feb 2010

  • not enough

    Death

    .

    .

    THE MOON AND THE SUN Gareth Wilce - 12 July 2009

    .

    .

    The moon and the sun are not enough.

    To quench my thirst and hunger for you.

    To be away from you.

    Not kissing not touching and all that stuff

    .

    .

    7................... .................... ..............7

    Report this message.
    By John Charles Wilce on 25th Feb 2010

  • this endless twilight

    Death

    .

    .

    BARS

    Gareth Wilce - 10.06.09

    .

    .

    Bars which encompassed me once, disappear.
    In a mist of what? Is not quite clear.
    But those bars remain, to my dismay.
    And darken night, of what should be day.
    Sunsets dwell before they become night.
    Lengthening time, this endless twilight.
    .

    .

    6................... .................... ..............6
    Report this message.
    By John Charles Wilce on 25th Feb 2010

  • the storm brews deep inside

    Death

    .

    .

    SAD BUT TRUE

    Gareth Wilce - april 2009

    .

    .

    Doors gently close, to hide secret telephone conversations.
    Without talking, we talk; together, yet very apart.
    Glances exchanged without emotion.
    .
    .
    Silence is golden, though the storm brews deep inside.
    Heavy sighs, we breath; in, and yet very much out.
    That once gained is now left aside.
    .
    .
    What's left to say, is not said.
    What once was, is no more.
    Sad, but true.
    .
    .
    3................... .................... ...............3
    Report this message.
    By John Charles Wilce on 25th Feb 2010

  • Turn Off (on the moring of 24 January 2010)

    Death

    .

    .

    TURN OFF

    Gareth Wilce (03.12.09)

    .

    .

    Turn off the Christmas lights.

    Take down the tree.

    I'm in no mood, you see,

    To be as happy as I should be.

    So remove the decorations.

    Postpone all celebrations.

    And think how it is to be me.

    .................... .................... ................

    Report this message.
    By John Charles Wilce on 24th Feb 2010

  • Screaming Inside

    Death

    .

    .

    SCREAMING INSIDE
    Gareth Wilce (08.12.08)

    .

    .
    Screaming inside,

    Searching for a place to hide.

    Don't lift your head.

    Don't get out of bed.

    Fold it inside out.

    Don't let out a shout.

    Store it away

    To tackle another day.

    Stripped and scarred.

    Hide alone.

    .................... .................... ................

    Report this message.
    By John Charles Wilce on 24th Feb 2010

  • Users Instructions

    Death

    .

    USER INSTRCTIONS

    Gareth Wilce (04.12.09)

    .

    If I came with users' instrctions

    Maybe I could avoid these self-destrction

    I could be taken apart, carefully

    Oiled and cleaned thoroughly.

    The elements of my disgrace;

    The worn-out parts replaced.

    Tested for compatibility

    Durability and reliability.

    Put back together, bit by bit.

    Maybe I'd function then.

    .................... .................... ...............

    Report this message.
    By John Charles Wilce on 23rd Feb 2010

  • A Year has Passed

    Death

    .

    A YEAR - Gareth Wilce

    (03.12.09)
    .
    A year has passed
    Since my first diagnosis.
    Its gone so fast
    And left me in tears.

    .

    An now looking back,
    It hasn't left me completely.
    The self control I lack
    Has stolen my years.
    .

    Of all that I made;
    Home, family and friendships,
    None of it stayed,
    All replaced by fears.

    .................... .................... ................

    .

    Report this message.
    By John Charles Wilce on 22nd Feb 2010

  • Remember Man, thou art dust and unto dust thou shalt return"

    Death

    Its that Tuesday they call Fastelven

    in Norway. Its Carnival in Spain and

    Pancake Day in Britain.

    Only yesterday, Gill fed golden crepes

    to her infant sons, as they ran in and out

    of their excited play from the garden.

    "More please, our Mam"

    "More"...........

    But Lent is coming.
    "All gone now".

    After the Bonfire of the Vanities,

    tomorrow is Ash Wednesday.

    Gareth was cremated on the first

    Tuesday in February. His Mother

    requested his ashes in Spain, but he was

    buried in Norway.

    As an Infant, I learned to read a small

    wooden plaque near my Mother's hearth.

    It said:

    "Man is Dust,

    Dust settles,

    Be a Man."

    I didn't understand this 66 years ago.

    I do now:

    No Mardi Gras,

    No Dies Cinerum,

    No Gareth.

    .................... .................... ..................

    Report this message.
    By John Charles Wilce on 22nd Feb 2010

  • Remember man, thou art dust and unto dust thou shalt return".

    Death


    It's that Tuesday called Fastelvensin Norway. Its Carnival in Spain and Pancake Day in Britain.

    Only yesterday, Gill fed golden crepes to her infant sons as they ran in and out of their excited play from our garden.

    "More please our Mam!"
    "More!".........
    "All gone Now"

    After this Bonfires of the Vanities, tomorrow is Ash Wednesday.
    Gareth was cremated on Tuesday 2nd February. His Mother's requested her son's ashes in Spain, but they are buried in Norway.

    As a small boy, I learned to read a small wooden plaque at my mother's hearth. It said:

    "Man is dust.
    Dust settles, Be a man".

    I did not understand this 66 years ago. I do now:
    -No Mardi Gras,
    -No Dies Cinerum,
    -No Gareth.

    .................... .................... ..................

    Report this message.
    By John Charles Wilce on 22nd Feb 2010

  • the final year

    Death

    .

    .

    A YEAR - Gareth Wilce

    (03.12.09)

    .

    A year has passed

    Since the first diagnosis.

    It's gone so fast

    And left me in tears.

    .

    And now looking back,

    It hasn't left me completely.

    The self control I lack

    Has stolen my years.

    .

    Of all that I made;

    Home family and friendships,

    None of it stayed,

    All replaced by fears.

    .

    .................... .................... .................

    Report this message.
    By John Charles Wilce on 22nd Feb 2010

  • Bergen - a darkening, chilling, city

    Death

    .

    .

    WINTERTIME - Gareth Wilce

    (29.11.09)

    .

    Numed fingers.

    Nails that don't seem to belong.

    Sharp breath.

    Nostrils tingle as the air is drawn down.

    Chapped lips.

    Glazed over with a minty taste.

    Ruddy cheeks.

    Warm and yet cold on your face.

    Layer upon layer,

    No single piece of clothing fits.

    It's wintertime.

    And it''ll be dark soon.

    .

    .................... .................... .................

    Report this message.
    By John Charles Wilce on 22nd Feb 2010

  • 4 November 2009 - Intensive Care - Sol Hospital, Marbella

    Death

    .

    .

    TUBES AND CABLES

    Gareth Wilce - (20.10.09)

    .

    A real mess of tubes and cables,

    in, under and all about me.

    That incessant peeping sound.

    .

    My eyes flutter open, if they're able.

    Unfocused and blurred. I see.

    I can't really believe, I'm still around.

    .

    White walls and white coats.

    Securely fastened to the machine.

    My blood pressure is measured, without end.

    .

    They found it seems, an antidote

    To my charcoal black darkened dream.

    Where am I? What day is it? my white coat friend.

    .

    .................... .................... .................

    Report this message.
    By John Charles Wilce on 22nd Feb 2010

  • The Path Of My Pain

    Death

    ..

    ..

    THE PATH OF MY PAIN

    Gareth Wilce - 24.08.09

    ..

    ..

    Salt stains mark the path of my pain.....

    ..

    ..

    They trace a stream down over my cheeks.

    It stings like never before, like the seas have dried,

    And their salt rubbed into my soul.

    And it hurts.

    ..

    ..

    The crystal stains mirror how I feel.

    If things had been different, if I hadn't told you how I am.

    What would have been left of me?

    And yet the marks are there.

    ..

    ..

    The marks on my face are not only for you.

    It stings like all have experienced eternity before. They're for all to see.

    And for me to be. And it hurts.

    With drips of salty runny snot pouring from my nose.

    ..

    Snot stains mark the path of my pain.....

    Report this message.
    By John Charles Wilce on 21st Feb 2010

  • Gareth on the beach, "I came in second"

    Death
    TORN APART - Gareth Wilce

    17 October 2009

    .................... .................... ...............

    Sectioned, sanctioned,
    And torn apart.
    A troubled mind,
    And a broken heart.
    Bewildered, beguiled,
    Then left alone.
    Ripped from the family,
    Riven from home.
    Devoid, annoyed
    My race is run.
    I came in second,
    No medal was won.
    Sanctuary, melancholy,
    Is all that's left.
    From my dreams
    I'm now bereft.
    Report this message.
    By John Charles Wilce on 20th Feb 2010

  • Gareth, on the beach, wondering alone

    Death

    LOST (Gareth Wilce)

    17 October 2009

    .................... .................... ..................

    A ship, far out to sea.

    That's me.
    A soul, that wanders alone.
    I'm home.

    A dream, that cannot be met.
    I'm that.
    A sigh, that's lost in the wind.

    A joke, that nobody gets.

    Report this message.
    By John Charles Wilce on 20th Feb 2010

  • Gareth Under Treatment

    Death

    WILD SIDE - Gareth Wilce(12.09.09)

    WALKING ON THE WILD SIDE

    is not a game for heros.

    Treading softly, softly

    Balancing on your toes.

    Not sure of reality

    Not satisfied with banality

    Punishing thoughts, your own

    And others.

    Pushing all away from you

    While wanting hugs and kisses.

    BEING A LITTLE ON THE WILD SIDE

    Not trusting your pretences.

    Wondering if the tablets

    Can help regain your senses.

    Waiting for a rest bite

    Long into the sweet goodnight.

    Looking forward to things

    Enjoyable.

    Discovering them to be destroyable.

    FALLING INTO THE WILD SIDE.

    Not landing on your feet.

    Saying all the wrong things

    Being indiscrete.

    Not sure of other' resistence

    Nor of your own existence.

    Passing time 'til you are well.

    Doing time your life's a hell.

    Report this message.
    By John Charles Wilce on 19th Feb 2010

  • Adress by TOR HEGLE at Gareth's Funeral in the Church at Ostereidet on 2 February 2010

    Death

    Gareth Wilce was an Architect.

    From 1 January 2007, he was an audit

    manager for Nordhordland & Gulen,

    supervising construction in nine Districts:

    Lindas, Fedje, Radoy, Austrheim, Gulen, Masfjorden, Modalen, Osteroy, Meland
    He was appreciated by his colleagues,

    construction companies and the public alike. Gareth had great charm. His personality and character made it easy

    for them to get in touch with everyone

    He always made the extra effort to ensure the wellbeing of his colleagues at work.

    In December 2007, he led a study tour to

    the City of Cardiff in his family's home area of Wales, where Bergen's gift of a Christmas Tree was lit at the Norwegian

    Seaman Church in Tiger Bay.

    Seen through his eyes, this was an unforgettable experience for us all.

    Throughout the past year, we tried to manage the illness that struck him down

    It became more obvious that the disease

    was worsening. Gareth had arduous and

    heavy days, often using his sense of humour in his fight. But his illness won the battle.

    We can no longer help Gareth, but maybe

    we can help each other to count our days

    Psalm 90.12

    Teach us to number our days aright,

    that we may gain a heart of wisdom.

    Proverbs 2.6

    For the Lord gives wisdom and from his

    mouth comes knowledge and understanding.

    My thoughts are with Gareth's family

    and friends. On behalf of his colleagues

    and the Lindas District we wish him to ber emembered in peace.

    Report this message.
    By John Charles Wilce on 19th Feb 2010

  • Gareth search in vain for a year for an "Amicable Agreement"

    Death

    SEARCHING for an amicable agreement.

    Not finding it at watershed one or two.

    Still searching for an amicable agreement

    Not sure if it can be with you.

    SEARCHING for an amicable agreement

    Where both parts can act as one.

    Still searching for an amicable agreement

    Quite sure now that you're not the one.

    SEARCHING helplessly for an amicable

    agreement

    Amongst hate, disgust, prejudice, despair

    Still searching for an amicable agreement

    The stakes are risen higher and higher.

    SEARCHING blindly for an amicable agreement

    So that life can continue as before.

    Still searching for an amicable agreement

    Every suggestion you slam the door.

    SEARCHING in the dark for an amicable agreement.

    Not knowing what is forward or back.

    Still searching for an amicable agreement.

    Every nerve and sinew ready to snap.

    Blind-Drunk, I search for an amicable

    agreement.

    My head nods, I sigh at memories passed.

    Searching not for the one step forward.

    Every step is destined to last forever.

    SEARCHING for an amicable agreement.

    No doubting it's not far away.

    Still searching for an amicable agreement.

    Vain hopes open for another day.

    SEARCHING for an amicable agreement.

    Sifting out bitterness and hate.

    Still hoping for an amicable agreement.

    Before its all too late.

    I twist and turn LOOKING for an amicable agreement.

    Your lights are dim & I can't find my way.

    Still desperate after an amicable agreement.

    Though you no longer show the way.

    PRESSING towards an amicable agreement

    There's nothing left to say.

    Waiting for the signing of an amicable agreement.

    The one that will seal the day.

    Gareth Wilce (15.7.09)

    Report this message.
    By John Charles Wilce on 19th Feb 2010

  • THE LENI POEMS

    Death
    After his release from a Norwegian Asylum Gareth needed Family Care
    This was only available from his Mother in Spain, where he met Leni ona Beach near Marbella.
    For a few short weeks, Leni was the last love of his short life.

    WAVES(Gareth Wilce) 11.10.09

    Waves roar in, drowning out the music in my ears,
    And the ghosts in my mind
    A cold beer, washing away all my boyish fears,
    Of the girl I wait to find.
    She is near.
    I smile to myself, and gaze eastwards.
    I won't be too forward.
    Pray to God.

    THE GIRLFRIEND TO BE

    (Gareth Wilce) 17.10.09

    Blonde or brunette, Redhead or jet.
    Eyes of emerald, blue,
    Hazel that too.
    Fair skinned or tanned.
    City or land, Short or tall,
    Rounded or small.
    The girlfriend to be.
    The one for me.
    It's inside that matters the most.

    JASMINE (G. Wilce) 21.10.09

    The scent of the evening, As jasmine takes the air, Invading your senses,
    Making you glad that you're there. One part per million, Drifting, across the night. One night in a million, Relaxed and feeling alright
    Report this message.
    By John Charles Wilce on 18th Feb 2010

  • Gareth wrote 2 poems on his release from Asylum

    Death

    HOPE (Gareth Wilce) 19.9.09

    A deep sigh, and there is hope,

    Quiet and subtle.

    It sneaks into your metal.

    Fortifies you to face another day.

    With open arms you welcome it all the way

    into your heart, where it belongs.

    THE BIGGEST FEELING OF ALL (19.9.09)

    The biggest feeling of all,

    Is the one that fills you to the brim,

    With a joy supreme.

    The biggest feeling of all,

    Is that which makes you shake.

    A smiling retake.

    The biggest feeling of all,

    You get when you least expect it.

    The moment moves on, but that feeling lasts forever.

    Report this message.
    By John Charles Wilce on 17th Feb 2010

  • from Tor Hegle (Gareth's Colleague, Lindas Kommune)

    Death

    At Gareth's funeral

    "Colleagues from his office were represented as well as colleagues from the local Districts, representatives from the County Council andThe Mayor and Alderman of Lindas.

    There were so many people in the church that they had to open a secondary room for more spaces."

    Please give my best wishes to Gillian.

    Tor Hegle (Head of Building & Planning)

    Report this message.
    By John Charles Wilce on 17th Feb 2010

  • Gareth's only concern was to protect his children

    Death

    SMALL FACES Gareth Wilce10.9.2009

    Small faces that I knew so well.

    Familiar Places.

    Ghosts to me now.

    Report this message.
    By John Charles Wilce on 16th Feb 2010

  • Hoping for a cure, Gareth entered a Norwegian Asylum in 2009

    Death

    PAM 2Gareth Wilce 8.9.2009
    (Psykiatisk Akutt Mottack 2)

    Care is what they do, its their job.

    Care is what they give, even when you sob.

    Into care says the doctor and hands you over

    To the staff on the ward who handle you with care.

    You're in good hands now, day and night long.

    They listen and care for you,
    and nothing goes wrong.

    Report this message.
    By John Charles Wilce on 16th Feb 2010

  • A poem written by Gareth Wilce on 8 September 2009

    Death

    CRIES FOR HELP

    Messages sent, the replies quite rare.

    A cry for help in a hurricane of emotion.

    Not to send them, no reply would be there.

    A cry for help can be lost in confusion.

    (Gareth was suffering from a Bipolar

    Disorder and entered the Haukeland

    Sykehus Asylum in Bergan in a vain

    search for a cure)

    Report this message.
    By John Charles Wilce on 16th Feb 2010

  • Tribute to Gareth from his Professional Colleagues in Norway

    Death

    Lindas Kommune

    It was with heavy heart that we received

    notification of the death of Gareth Ian Wilce
    on Sunday 24 January 2010

    We have benefited in recent years from

    his expertise and energy, but it is his

    humour and positivity as a human being

    we will remember longest.

    His death came too suddenly and too

    early. Our thoughts and condolences

    go to his relations. We want them to

    know that Gareth was highly valued

    also as a colleague and friend and that

    he is much missed. We shall take with us

    all the positives he has given us and

    wish peace to his memory.

    (Gareth's Father, John Wilce, would

    welcome contact from Gareth's facebook

    friends & others <a href="mailto:jwilce@ btinternet.com"> jwilce@btinternet. com</a>)

    Report this message.
    By John Charles Wilce on 15th Feb 2010

  • Gillian wilce asked that her Son's Poem be read at his funeral

    Death

    A TOY CAR (20.10.09) GARETH WILCE

    A toy car buffeted around in the surf.

    Being buried and uncovered by wet sand.

    Someone's going to miss it enough.

    A little boy at the end of the day,

    Will look down into his hand,

    And let out a cry.

    If it weren't for this stranger going by.

    Report this message.
    By John Charles Wilce on 14th Feb 2010

  • Poem to Leni read at her request at Gareth's funeral

    Death
    Jasmine (21.10.09) Gareth Wilce

    The scent of the evening,

    As jasmine takes the air,

    Invading your senses,

    Making you glad that you're there.

    One part per million,

    Drifting, across the night.

    One night in a million,

    Relaxed, and feeling alright.

    Report this message.
    By John Charles Wilce on 14th Feb 2010

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